Jiu-Jitsu World Rocked By Discovery of Wikipedia Page on Lions

Okay, but other than everything about them, it really holds up.

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After many years of using lions as a literal poster animal, with thousands of images of the maned cats underneath motivational text on social media posts, the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu world was dealt a painful blow today as one Jiu-Jitsu player was reported to have made some startling discoveries about the beasts by spending a few minutes reading Wikipedia. Often portrayed as the true alphas of the animal kingdom, elite hunting machines that think for themselves and show no mercy, the grappler was shocked to discover that lions are actually highly communal animals that are known to sleep up to 20 hours per day, with male lions staying back to watch the children while the females go off to hunt.

“It’s like my whole world is a lie,” David Tolliver said after being alerted to the page. “What does that make the mats, then? My grassland?”

It wasn’t all bad news for martial artists fond of the big cat memes, as further research did confirm they were still living up to some of the lion’s most renowned traits by being ornery assholes when their dominance is questioned and leaving their gross musk everywhere they go.

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