UFC Mourns Michael Bisping Following Joshua Fabia Death Move


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Tragedy has struck the mixed martial arts world as former UFC Middleweight Champion Michael Bisping was killed in a violent confrontation with School of Self-Awareness Founder Joshua Fabia. The self-appointed guru had taken offense to recent comments by Bisping, who was upset that Fabia had responded to the termination of his parasitic relationship with Diego Sanchez by sharing several personal and private stories that were either told to Fabia in confidence or entirely made up. Not one to take slights quietly, Fabia confronted Bisping at an American Kickboxing Academy gym in California, where he bested the former champion in single combat in front of The Count’s horrified peers.

“It was just terrible to watch,” said former UFC Light Heavyweight and Heavyweight Champion Daniel Cormier, who has himself had issues with Fabia in the past. “He comes in ranting and raving and gets up in Bisping’s face before handing Mike a knife and then putting on a blindfold. The way he moves… I don’t think I’ll be sleeping for a long time. Bisping was swinging at air, then Fabia kicked him in the stomach, grabbed his head and… and…”

The former champion broke down in tears and could not be coaxed into finishing his description. Fabia escaped from the gym and remains at large. Authorities warned that he is armed with an unstoppable death move banned in sporting competition, and anyone who sees him is advised to stay as far away as possible to avoid the risk of triggering an explosive rant about the insufficient respect they have shown to Fabia in the past.

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