Community Concerns Grow as Warm-Up Enters Third Day

Residents of Palm Coast have expressed growing unease as warm-up exercises at local Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu school Palm Coast Mixed Martial Arts & Fitness stretched onward into their fifty second hour. The community became aware of the never-ending exercises early Tuesday morning when purple belt Ashley Coleman texted her partner to say that she was bored as hell and asking for some food to hold her over while she waited for class to start. Curious residents unable to resist the allure report bizarre behavior including people crawling on the ground like alligators, walking on all fours while another person hangs underneath them like a baby sloth and walking with a strange gait where participants drop to one knee before dragging their foot forward along the mats. It’s not yet clear what the participants’ aim is or what is to happen when they stop, but locals assume whatever is coming, it’s going to be bad.