MMA Fans Call for Ban on “Shockingly Brutal” Water Polo

Is someone going to have to DIE before we do anything?!?!?

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Mixed martial arts enthusiasts turning into water polo for the first time during the Olympics were shocked by the violence and inhumanity on display in the pool. Water polo, a sport in which athletes contest for the ball while treading water, often dunking each other in the process, left the combat sports fans shocked and appalled.

“How are they allowed to do this in civilized society,” asked decade-long fight fan Mark Levine. “Look! Look what he’s doing! He’s trying to drown that man! What’s next, are we going to give them knives?”

Concerned fans were further repulsed to discover that children around the world participate in water polo practices and matches every day. A petition boosted in several post-fight interviews during this past weekend’s UFC card calling for a federal ban on water polo has quickly surged to over 100,000 signatures, and plans are in place for a firm lobbying effort calling for a ban on the sport. The ban has critics within the MMA world, however, who fear it will only lead to the spread of more-dangerous unsanctioned water polo matches.

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