MMA Media Fruitlessly Searching for Way to Not Cover the Paul Brothers

If only it was possible to not actively decide to feature them exhaustively.

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MMA news sites around the world remain desperate for aid in their futile quest to not write stories every time a Paul brother breathes. The sites, which want nothing more than to cover mixed martial arts news, as one would expect from a site about mixed martial arts, have yet to crack the code on how to not post multiple articles every week about a couple of YouTubers who recreationally box on cards carefully orchestrated to bilk the maximum amount of cash out of consumers.

“Look, we are an MMA news site,” said’s Tommy Baroni. “We cover MMA. We’ve put safeguards in place to ensure we don’t ever cross that line. Look how well we’ve done totally ignoring BJJ the last two weeks! As soon as we figure out a way to not watch a Jake Paul video, summarize its content, screengrab a header, edit and publish it, then publicize that on our social media, we will.”

Although expressing their unending frustration with the sites they read for continuing to cover this unrelated and uninteresting news with such consistency, MMA fans noted they were sympathetic to the news sites, as they were currently conducting their own research in order to find a way to not click, comment on and share every article they see.

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