Greetings, nerds and virgins. I’ve been reading a lot of talk from internet tough guys about how fighters paying women to be in their social media posts with them is “laughable,” or “the wackest shit ever,” or “genuinely so embarrassing that I feel bad about it on their behalf even though I hate them and generally wish them nothing but sadness.” I’m here to say that actually, no, it’s really cool and you’re all just jealous haters who can’t stand how awesome I am and how much sex I totally have all the time.
What is it that makes a man a real man? We all know the answer is hanging out with slammin’ hot bitties. And what’s the bossest way to do that? Winning them over with your personality like some kind of simp? Hell no. The coolest thing any guy can do is to be such a baller that he can pay women to hang around him and pose for Instagram photos, with no regard for its impact on his future financial stability.
When you think about it, who’s the real loser? The guy who’s out there posting pictures with his kids that he had with his wife that he was nice to and dated for years, or the guy who’s hanging out with smokin’ models who wouldn’t be within twenty feet of him and his multiple open sores if he wasn’t peeling bills off fat wads of cash? Exactly.
So, the next time you think it’s funny to laugh at a fighter as he shills predatory sports books with visibly-uncomfortable women who don’t even know his name on each arm, ask yourself, isn’t it actually true that hiring women to act like you’re sexy is the real alpha move?
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