Dan Campbell Announces Lions Will Play “Whoever the Fuck Wins the AFC” in Super Bowl

Detroit Lions head coach Dan Campbell was defiant following his side’s 13-10 loss to the Cleveland Browns on Sunday. Taking the mic at the postgame press conference, Campbell stated his intention for the Lions, who fell to 0-9-1 on the season, to contest for the NFL Championship by taking on whichever team emerges victorious from the AFC playoffs in the Super Bowl. He also noted that the Lions’ losses have all come because of the cowardly decisions of referees to halt contests when the Lions were still conscious and that every true NFL fan knows the team’s recent 44-6 defeat to the 5-6 Philadelphia Eagles was actually a perfect execution of the gameplan and would have ended in a Lions victory if not for the unpredictable result of strategizing to concede several touchdowns resulting in an unsurmountable number of points for the Eagles.