Mixed Martial Artish Leaves Laptop on the Table, Announces Retirement

No reason to believe this isn’t for good.

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The mixed martial arts world was shocked today by the retirement announcement of blogging legend Mixed Martial Artish. Following the completion of today’s post, blogger Bobby Ingram shut his laptop and left it on the table before waving goodbye to his screaming and adoring fans.

“I can’t begin to thank you all for how wonderful you’ve been through all of this,” Ingram said, “from the redditors who didn’t get it, to the Gordon Ryandroids who tagged him on every post in the hopes he’d tell me he can beat me up. This has been a hard decision for me. At the end of the day, I didn’t want to be one of those bloggers going at it long past their prime where everyone’s begging them to stop and the damage is piling up. I’ve got to think about my wife I don’t have and my children I hope to never have.”

Asked about his plans in retirement, Ingram noted he would be staying around the computer. He might even dabble in some recreational writing, but he didn’t see any reason why that should prevent him from sticking true to his vow to give up blogging for good.

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