Dear Sir/Madam,

I am reaching out to you today with a special offer.

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We here at Mixed Martial Artish humbly and proudly introduce ourselves as the premier mixed martial arts satire news source in New Jersey.

Our main products are as follows:

  • Casting side-eye at the UFC
  • Calling Gordon Ryan a dork
  • Promoting vaccines like a sheep
  • Far more jokes about jiu-jitsu than any other art
  • Having a super secret hidden identity that nobody can crack
  • Left-wing cancel culture bullshit

We can offer you the highest-quality, often biting, occasionally funny, frequently depressing “humor” posts for the low price of $0, or $5 a month to back the Patreon and receive almost zero (0) additional benefits. Looking forward to our future co-operation.

Warmest regards,

Bobby Ingram

Writer
Editor
Graphic Designer
Marketing Manager

Mixed Martial Artish Industries

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