UFC Announces Cock Fight to Headline UFC 272

This post sponsored by Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

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UFC 272 has a headliner, and it demonstrates how far the UFC has come since the days it operated in fear of government regulation, as the organization has shown it has no qualms with booking a fight between two absolute cocks as its main event, with Jorge Masvidal set to take on Colby Covington. The fight between two of the UFC’s most insufferable knobs will serve as the culmination of years of pre-fight trash talk between the two former teammates, as well as the precursor to years of post-fight trash talk from the welterweight division’s most prominent bell ends.

“The fans know what they’re going to get when these two get into the cage,” said UFC top dickhead Dana White. “They’re two of my absolute favorite people in the whole organization. My kind of guys, through and through.”

Fans of the pricks, two groups which somehow still exist in the year 2022, are excited to see which of the two todgers comes out on top, and which turns in a limp performance. Early analysis suggests an advantage to the fighter who shows true diversity, by also displaying their ability to be an absolute asshole and undeniable twatwaffle.

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