“I Stand With Joe Rogan,” Says Everyone You Never Doubted Would For Even One Second

Wait, YOU stand with Joe Rogan? No way!

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In light of a second apology video from comedian, UFC commentator and podcaster Joe Rogan in as many weeks, this time for the many, many, many times he used the N-word over many, many, many years on his podcast, as well as an explicitly and flagrantly racist story in which he called a movie theater in a black neighborhood “The Planet of the Apes,” a brigade of everybody you knew would have his back on this issue has rushed forward to say they have his back on this issue. From disgraced conservative former presidents to race-pandering failed liberal presidential candidates to libertarian bro martial artists, everyone you already knew would have a way bigger problem with the people who compiled the video than the man repeatedly using a slur it in voiced their unequivocal support for Rogan.

“This cancel culture shit has got to go,” said BJJ purple belt Tony D’Amato. “People are acting like we don’t all casually say [the N-word] all the time when we’re hanging out with our boys, but it’s cool because we have black teammates and we don’t mind rolling with them as long as they don’t freak out or anything. Glass houses, yo.”

The backers also noted they stand with Rogan on his future problems in the weeks ahead when people get around to noticing the many cases of homophobia, sexism and transphobia Rogan routinely recorded and broadcasted publicly to millions of listeners for over a decade.

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