Ngannou Talks Hit “Unbreakable Impasse” Over Crossover Curling Bout

Pick, peel and freeze: all curling words we know and could have used to make a bad pun here and didn’t. So, yeah. you’re welcome.

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Fans hoping for a positive resolution to the contract talks between Francis Ngannou and the UFC may want to look away, because our sources say that the Champion has walked away from negotiations and he was not happy with the UFC’s terms. We here at Mixed Martial Artish can EXCLUSIVELY report that bridge too far was Ngannou’s interest in challenging Olympic Gold Medalist curler Niklas Edin, thought to be a lucrative crossover opportunity after Ngannou’s newfound love for the sport. Ngannou, who began watching curling earlier this month during the 2022 Olympics because it was the only thing on when he kept being woken up by threatening texts from Vegas at 2:00 each morning, has refused to budge from this demand. The UFC, feeling a fleeting wave of human empathy, mistakenly offered a fair deal which offered full freedom to box and a generous compensation package, but Ngannou turned it down over the prohibition on professional curling. Reached for comment, Edin responded “curling rocks!”

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