Yesterday we published an article which described the dropping of all charges against Jorge Masvidal as the funniest possible resolution to the feud between Jorge Masvidal and Colby Covington. Although we here at Mixed Martial Artish hold ourselves to the highest possible standards for truth and accuracy in our reporting, we failed to meet the mark with that piece due to our strong opposition to the carceral state causing a complete lack of consideration for the potential of a full trial, with testimony from both of the fighters. This possibility is objectively funnier than simply having the charges dropped without further event. By omitting this potential outcome, we overlooked hilarious possible events which include but are not limited to:
- Jorge being asked to answer for his previous and three future confessions to the crime
- The judge requiring Colby to put a shirt on under his jacket before taking the stand
- Colby crying on the stand for sympathy only to be reminded he is not on trial
- A detailed dissection by Jorge’s own defense counsel on how little damage he did
- The endless line of fighters willing to testify to how much of a punchable dick Colby is
- Colby’s increasingly poor attempts to save face and defend the charges on social media
After careful consideration within the newsroom we have been forced to admit this is no small oversight and thus we have taken the unprecedented action of offering this formal correction to acknowledge Jorge Masvidal being found not guilty through trial is the funniest possible resolution. Rest assured we are as upset about this error as you are, and you can rest easy knowing we will be back to our usual standard of flawlessly impeccable reporting in the future.