Are you an emotionally-fragile man who defines his value by his testosterone-levels, but find that your life is not meeting your expectations for the true alpha that you are? Then retired Navy Seal and current social media influencer Jocko Willink wants to clue you in on a better way to live. Through his work on Instagram and his podcast, which is named exactly as creatively as you’d guess, Willink wants to inspire the next generation of rise-and-grind bros who forego wasteful activities like friends, family and fun in favor of the noble pursuit of taking pictures of your watch at four in the morning.
“Listen, you can let others define you, using stupid shit like how being around you makes them feel,” Willink said when reached for comment. “Or, you can let different others define you as super cool because your alarm clock works.”
The best part, according to Willink, is how easy and applicable his system is. All you need to do is remove anything in your life that might necessitate sleeping during normal hours then purchase Jocko-branded powders, pills and drinks for all your intake needs and you, too, can present yourself to the world as somebody who is absolutely insufferable and boring.