By There’s been a lot of talk about fighter pay recently, and a lot of you nerds and virgins have strong opinions about how much a fighter should earn. Well, it’s easy to look at payment disclosures after an event and think you know how much a fighter is making, but what you losers don’t know is all the costs that go into making it to fight night and how they can significantly lower your take-home pay. Take my last fight, for example, where I made $500,000 to show and 500,000 to win along with a $50,000 performance bonus and no pay-per-view points because fuck you Jorge, you’re not worth it. Owned, bro. You may think that means I went home with over $1,000,000, but you have to consider how much I spent to make that fight happen:
- Gym dues: You may not know this, but every time you show up at a gym, the owner looks at you and says “Hey, Colby, if you’re gonna train here, it’s gonna be $100 a session.” That adds up fast. $18,000
- Coach’s cut: Coaches don’t actually want to work with fighters, so to get them to do it, you need to offer them each a personal cut, usually 10%. $500,000
- Manager’s cut: Having a manager who takes the calls from the UFC and says yes to them is important. $200,000
- Nutritionist: Learning is for dorks, which is why you need to pay some nerd who read a bunch of lame books and shit to tell you what to eat to perform at your best. $20,000
- Specialty diet: All that wack food is expensive as fuck. $9,000
- Model fees: Only losers shoot social media posts without women in them, and my manager always says, “Colby, if you want women to be around you, you need to be willing to pay them.” $250,000
- Taxes: That’s cuck shit. $0
So, that’s how $1,050,000 becomes $53,000, you losers.
[Ed. – Mr. Covington has requested we note that he wrote this article while flanked by two beautiful women in bikinis. We could not verify or disprove this information at publication.]
