Queen Elizabeth II Dies From Injuries Incurred at Unsanctioned Cage Fight

So ends the longest career in British mixed martial arts.

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Queen Elizabeth II, the reigning Royal Cage Fighting Women’s Bantamweight Champion, is dead, having succumbed to her injuries sustained at RCF 47 this past weekend where she defended her title in a grueling five round affair. Famous for her love of Corgis, imperialism and mixed martial arts combat, the Queen has long rebuffed warnings that continuing her career at such an advanced age was a hazard to her health. The weird-and-embarrassing sector of the public have been on high alert since the weekend, following reports the bout had left the Queen hospitalized, and today brought the news they most feared.

Congratulations to King Charles III, who now assumes control of his mother’s many titles including the RCF title, Xtreme Violence FC’s Bantamweight and Lightweight belts and the India-based Super Fight League Men’s Heavyweight Title which the Queen never fought for but has claimed ownership of for the last 7 years.

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