New white belt Calvin Peterson’s attempt to show off his MMA knowledge to a group of upper-belts at Stockton Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu & Fitness went disastrously, leaving the 36-year-old shattered at the discovery he was more out-of-touch than previously believed. Hearing his teammates discussing which female fighters they found hottest and which have had work done, Peterson saw his opportunity. “Here’s something I bet you didn’t know,” Peterson said, while searching on his phone for a suitable visual aid. “Wandi didn’t used to look like that, he actually had plastic surgery done near the end of his career to make him less susceptible to cuts.”
Peterson was left a withering pile of creaking bones and hard candies as one purple belt reportedly responded, “Oh, cool, but who’s Vandy?”