Thumbs Down! Jotko Slain as Emperor Left Unimpressed

A fun day at the circus!

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The career and life of UFC Middleweight Krzysztof Jotko ended Saturday night at the Apex Colosseum after opponent Brendan Allen secured a rear naked choke and Emperor Zuckerberg declined to spare the fighter. The Emperor was delighted throughout the night by the blood sport on display for himself, his wife the Empress, and a small consort of servants on-hand to cater to their needs throughout the festivities, but it was not enough to sway his hand in Jotko’s favor. Fans observing the combat from afar agreed that it was very humanizing to see the Emperor cheering as a sharp elbow drew blood from a fighter currently living out of their gym, and love that he shares the same interests as the average fan nearly as strongly as his interest in not being forced to cohabitate the same space with them.

Sadly, the death of Jotko was not the only tragedy on the card as heavyweight Ilir Latifi has reportedly gone missing. Latifi, last seen in the Octagon asking the Emperor for a bonus following his unanimous decision victory, disappeared without notice, leaving his phone, wallet and coaching staff behind.

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