Dumbest Black Belts You Know All Agree Something Fishy in Brazilian Election

Pictured: Bolsonaro with son and emotional support pistol.

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An analysis of posts on the social media pages of all the stupidest grapplers you have ever encountered has revealed unanimous agreement that something seems off about the recent election in Brazil in which alpha bro Jair Bolsonaro, who once needed emergency surgery to not die from hiccups, lost to Luiz InĂ¡cio Lula da Silva. The black belts expressed their confusion and disbelief at the idea Lula could possibly receive more votes than Bolsonaro, a man who spent his term as president denying the risks of COVID, overseeing one of the highest COVID mortality rates in the world and undermining efforts to fight COVID, only taking time off for the occasional brief trip to the hospital to nearly die of COVID. Many of the black belts, revered and respected as role models by other grown adults because of their ability to do fake murder well, intend to keep up the fight to defend the honor and rightful place of power of a man who recently got so constipated he needed emergency surgery to not die from being so full of shit.

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