Elon Musk Closes $4.4 Billion Mixed Martial Artish Acquisition

“You’re going to GLOVE what I do with the place.”

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After several months of protracted negotiations and will-they, won’t-they tension, Elon Musk has moved forward with a plan to purchase the social media account Mixed Martial Artish, the world’s 37th most-popular humor-based martial arts Instagram profile, and its associated accounts and blog. The move, first mooted by Musk in July as a response to the larger MMA world going “too woke,” appeared to be in jeopardy as Musk seemed to develop cold feet about acquiring the company, which currently has an estimated worth of nearly $200. Musk made his first appearance at Mixed Martial Artish headquarters today, declaring the acquisition a win for free speech and humor in the martial arts world.

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