Mixed Martial Artish Bankrupt

It’s been a good run.

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Inside sources currently writing this anonymous article confirm that Mixed Martial Artish, the world’s 68th most popular martial arts comedy account on Instagram, will begin bankruptcy proceedings next week, with founder and CEO Elon Musk declaring the site “a complete, unsalvageable wash.” The media company, purchased with all associated properties by Musk earlier this week in a landmark $4.4 billion deal, is believed to be nearly entirely inoperable after a majority of staff quit earlier this week in response to a Musk ultimatum. Musk is also said to have used internal communication channels to repeatedly and vociferously express his disappointed in performance metrics related to efforts to increase revenue generation, including a proposed advertising sponsorship with Tesla, increased vending machine costs for the now fully on-site staff, and Mixed Martial Artish green, which offered users a special badge by their comments for just $15 a month, paid annually, as soon as the currently-empty developer pool figures out how to crack the Twitter code to allow it.

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