Ontario Commission Learns About UFC, Forbids Betting

“This sport is crazy, my guys,” the commission said.

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Today the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario suspended betting on UFC events in light of having recently learned about the organization, its fighters and its business practices. The commission added, “and, we mean, have you seen this shit?” The press release offered a list of reasons for the ban, including fighters routinely hanging around with known criminals and dictators, the close gambling ties between the organization and Las Vegas casinos and depressed fighter wages leaving fighters on major cards begging for scraps to pay their bills in post-fight interviews. We reached out to the commission for comments on whether the recent fight fixing investigation following suspicious betting on a fight cornered by an ex-fighter famous for his paid betting tips had played a part in the decision, and the commission responded, “holy, shit, what?!?!? Dude, that’s fucking wild.”

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