Ominous Push Notification Announces New Gym Post on Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Sources indicate post as awful, poorly cropped as initially feared.

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Adding another item to the list of shit you didn’t need today, an Instagram notification warns of a new post on your gym’s official account this Martin Luther King Jr. Day morning. While you have not yet mustered the courage to click the link, tension remains high over what waits for you behind that alert should you choose to click on it. Perhaps, however, this is all a bunch of worrying about what-ifs and imagined problems. Maybe your coach simply had a tasteful and somber message to share. Or maybe it’s not even about the holiday at all, and it just happens to be going up today. It’s probably fine. Just click it and see for yourself how this is all much ado about nothing.

Oh, for the love of…

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