Perfect Alpha Male Specimen Laid Low By Own Body (Again)

This is what peak performance looks like.

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King Gordon Ryan, the human embodiment of perfection, has once again announced a shocking and unforeseen absence from the sport due to his body’s inability to complete basic functions without completely shutting down and rendering him hospital-bound. As with previous absences, Ryan finds himself in a tricky situation, with his elite, Adonis-like body failing to respond to the standard treatments medical professionals recommended, showing a unique ability to resist any and all attempts to heal it.

Ryan has also confirmed that his latest illness has brought with it further tummy turmoil, and Mixed Martial Artish can exclusively confirm he is once again dealing with some very bad poops. It is unknown when Ryan will be ready for competition though there is expected to be an intense battle to book the grappling standout in the three months between his recovery and an impending six-month spell of bedrest from a particularly pernicious head cold.

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