Mark Zuckerberg Quits BJJ

Nothing left to accomplish.

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The brief but passionate obsession of Meta president Mark Zuckerberg with the sport of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu has reached its conclusion, with the hot-girl-ranking mogul calling it quits in the sport after achieving what he set out to do when getting into grappling.

“Mark is extremely appreciative of the sport of BJJ and everything he has learned from it,” said a statement released by Meta today. “Although Mark is now ready to move on, having completed Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu this weekend, he wishes the sport well in the years to come.”

Zuckerberg exits the sport with a long list of accomplishments, including becoming a Silicon Valley Gold Medal Champion and the presumed favorite in an imaginary fist fight with terminally-lame poster Elon Musk.

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