“Well, Shit,” Mutters Rest of Card

As Da’Mon Blackshear secured a first round victory by twister in the second bout of UFC on ESPN: Luque vs. dos Anjos, fighters across the card agreed that, fuck, that’ll be one off the table, then. The fighters universally acknowledged that the submission, just the third in promotional history, was extremely cool and good and they really wished he would have just gone ahead and not done that if they’re being honest. Though not ideal, the fighters decided the best bet moving forward was to head out and swing for the fences in search of an early finish, since it’s not like the card’s likely to have more first round finishes than the arbitrary number of bonuses the UFC chooses to give out each event or anything.