Imaginary Fight in Fake Jeopardy

The hottest ticket in pretend fight sports suddenly finds itself up in the air as new posts from Mark Zuckerberg call into question whether the fully-imagined contest would go forth at all. Noting that “opponent” Elon Musk did not appear to be taking the fraudulent fisticuffs very seriously and was instead just doing a lot of embarrassing flailing for attention, Zuckerberg announced his intention to get back to training with and ogling elite grapplers purely for his own purposes. With the comfortable dusting of his foe in a fictional fight no longer on the table, Zuckerberg will instead shift his attention toward absolutely destroying the social lives of some random California blue belts in the year ahead.