Grappler on Date in Spandex, No Pants, Goes Home Alone Again

Why does this keep happening to him?

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Despite going on his third date in the last week, blue belt Calvin Williams once again failed to make an impression worthy of a second date despite having worn his fanciest and most flattering spats. While early interactions were promising, with the two bonding over shared interest in board games, eSports and recreational taxidermy, Williams felt the vibe changed when it came time to grab lunch.

“The whole time she kept looking at me like I was some kind of freak,” Williams said. “It’s weird, because she seemed to really be into me but then we get together and she looks, for lack of a better word, scared to be around me.”

Friends have cautioned Williams that his apparel may be to blame for his recent string of failures, a suggestion he rejects out of hand. Noting that everything is covered so it’s literally no different than wearing shorts or pants over his underwear Williams said there is simply no reason being able to see every detail of his dick and balls should be making anyone uncomfortable when you can’t even see their exact color.

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