Dana White Dead at 54 After Catastrophic Bile Duct Failure

UFC CEO Dana White, once known for having been caught on camera in a club being physical with his wife then slapping her twice, passed away last night, age 54, due to a complete and unrecoverable explosion in his digestive system Saturday evening. The fight promoter was airlifted to Southern Hills Hospital, but staff were unable to save his life. Medical professionals working on White expressed shock and horror at the scene inside White, where severe and total system failure left White “more full of toxic bile and shit than I have ever seen in 40 years as a surgeon,” according to one anonymous staff member. It is not yet clear what triggered such a total revolt of White’s own body, but the anonymous surgeon guessed it must have been something pretty bad.