Student Paper Investigation Reveals Dean’s Past as Cage Fighter

The secret life of mild-mannered Dean Jardine is the talk of campus around Mean College this week after student reporters unearthed Jardine’s secret past life as an ultimate fighter. Professor Keith Jardine, 48, has been the head administrator at Mean, a small liberal arts college in New Mexico, for more than 20 years with students having no idea that he once routinely stripped naked to the waist to battle other men in unarmed combat before a baying audience. While students had noticed his “totally fucked-up ears” it was generally assumed that he used to be a wrestling coach or something before entering higher academia, not that the soft spoken faculty leader had once knocked out former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Chuck Liddell. Although surprised by the revelation, students did acknowledge this explains why he always pulls on his nipples before stepping up to the lectern at school events.