Our staff reflect on the real winners and losers from the night’s three title fights.
The excitement is super spreading fast!
Get to know former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones
Hear both sides, you fucking goofs.
The news, which the former champion has reiterated several times in the intervening months, was said to have caught the promoter completely off guard.
“While we don’t yet know who Conor will be facing for this prestigious belt, we have full faith that he will find a way to do more of his schtick that you goofs can’t get enough of.”
“See, look at this weak shit,” said Martin, who last month cried because he got a splinter in his thumb, as a fighter was defeated by a body kick and the subsequent 17 punches to the head and neck.
UFC Streamer: “Dana White Is So Big and So Strong, and I Regret Ever Challenging His Mighty Presence”
“I said you keep an eye on this dummy. If he puts one pixel out of line, he’ll regret it. We’ve got his phones tapped. We’ve got his internet watched. We’ve got his parents kidnapped. Try me.”
Moran previously warned Hogan for two eye gouges, a kick to the back of the head of a downed opponent, grabbing the cage to prevent a takedown and several low blows after the bell.
“It’s time for these guys to start taking some responsibility for our bottom line before we have to do something drastic, like cancel my Las Vegas snow birthday.”