Update: You Don’t Have to Tell Us About Your Pre-Dump Crypto, Either

To the moon door!

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As a journalistic institution we take our research responsibilities very seriously, which is why, after being unable to find any MMA news sites covering whatever insults Brendan Allen used to build hype for his fight with Jacob Malkoun we moved our search to social media which similarly answered no questions but provided further pertinent information we feel obligated to share with Mr. Allen and his fellow fighters. Whether you are a big enough celebrity to be one of the public faces of the impending pump-and-dump scam or are a genuine mark, feel free to omit any discussion of your current crypto baby in your post fight shoutouts. This is doubly true when promoting a coin so obscure that nobody who hasn’t seen your all-shout-out Twitter feed will even realize you namechecked it. Volting someone is not a thing. Volting isn’t even a verb.

This also remains true for the UFC’s performance* based bitcoin awards, which have dropped 29% in value since being awarded early Sunday morning, resulting in net losses of approximately $2,870.42 for Weili Zhang, $5,740.85 for Joanna Jedrzejczyk and $8,611.28 for Valentina Shevchenko.

Some suggestions for better uses of your mic time include thanking friends and family, calling your next shot, name checking a sponsor who pays you in real money or nothing.

* – popularity

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