Gordon Ryan Debuts Latest Form Ready to Dominate BJJ Until December Hospitalization

He can tap his phone’s screen so hard right now.

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Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu superstar Gordon Ryan is on the mend and showed off an impressive new physique sure to help him dominate the sport again until his next complete physical breakdown in the winter lands him back in intensive care. After recovering from his latest bedbound illness with an impressive array of medications, Ryan is once again swole and ready to roll, prepped to add several more months of dominance to his resume before a case of extremely bad poops leaves him emaciated and barely able to muster the energy to be a real shithead online come the holiday season. With his new muscle-packed frame, Ryan is sure to be an imposing physical force on the BJJ scene, presenting a challenging puzzle that few are likely to come close to solving in time to notch a win over the sport’s leading man before he unfortunately and entirely unexplainably falls apart completely and devolves into a shell of his current self for between three months and a year.

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